And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
