are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
