You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
