the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
