He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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