96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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