I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
my liver is dry heaving
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm always down for nudity.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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