You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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