apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
