I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
