he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
