absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
