And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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