I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
