yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
