We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
