Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she smelled like a LAN party
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
