I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
