You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
