spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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