OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
