Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
