I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
