I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The air was thick with penises
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
