You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
