Cold hands, warm shart.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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