I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
