come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
