im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
