i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
