the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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