Sry I called you an 8
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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