i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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