upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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