so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
