oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
50% drunk capacity currently
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
