Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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