I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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