Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
