She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
