forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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