He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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