he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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