he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
