Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
