I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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