ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
