At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
