Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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