drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
