i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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