You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
