Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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